I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
