it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
