so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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