Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
