That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My dick has a subreddit
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
