I'm jealous of your bromance
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
