problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Green mimosas i think yes
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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