smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize