can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Your penis caused this!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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