Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize