idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
