i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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