Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
