are you still at the devil's house?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Two words: blizzard sex
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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