YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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