she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize