I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
