Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
