sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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