Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
