I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
