she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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