before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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