PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
