Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
