): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
