just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
