I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
