That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I got her a Nickelback box set.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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