Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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