He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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