Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
