Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
