Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We just shotgunned beers for America
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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