I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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