I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
