I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
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