Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
