I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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