I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
