escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
