I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
