i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
