Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
