I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
