I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
