what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
