i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
