I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
