I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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