playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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