goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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