dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
