I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
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