READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
