Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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