How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
