NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize