Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We left the knife in your bed.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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