is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
