i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize