i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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